Locked Drawers
by RennaV
Summary: What happens when Lee accidently sees what's in Neji's secret locked drawer? A revenge plot courtesy of Tenten and new insights into the Hyuuga's sex life. M because of sexual themes. OOC-ness abound. Shika X Neji sexy times implied. Written for pure humor.


**Locked Drawers**

* * *

 **Written solely for comedic purposes and because I was exhausted from planning an original fiction. I don't own Naruto characters, I just abuse them, dust them off, and give them back. MXM implied: don't like, go back now.**

* * *

It started with an insistent pounding. Neji did not know what to make of the sound in his sleepy state but crawled out of his warm, comfortable bed, and made it to his window. Neji pulled open his thick white curtains and peered into the darkness.

"Tenten?" Neji questioned.

His friend (one of his best friends though he would never admit it to anyone outside their team) flushed and made a motion for him to open the window. He frowned as it was autumn and it was damned _cold_ out tonight. She gave him _the look_.

Most women had a flirty, puppy-dog sort of look consisting of a pout, wide wet eyes, and a slightly trembling lower lip. This coupled with the barest hints of a flush and a tiny whimper made men give into their whim. Tenten was not like most women.

Her look consisted of a single raised eyebrow, a certain glow to her eyes, and a smirk which promise death by thousands of sharp pointy objects. Neji opened his window.

Tenten shifted a bundle in her arms and it took Neji a split second to realize said bundle was Lee, his other best friend and so-called eternal rival. Neji helped Tenten get Lee into his room in the Hyuuga estate and blinked at her.

"What—" Neji tried.

"Long story," Tenten said.

She dumped Lee onto Neji's bed where Lee laid spread-eagled and snoozing happily. There was a familiar too wide grin on his face and his cheeks were deep pink. Neji felt his eyebrow twitching in annoyance and ran a hand through his mused hair.

"Why in the Hell are you bringing a drunken Lee _here_?" Neji asked.

Tenten gave him another look. It consisted of the same raised eyebrow but her lips were set in a little frown and her head tilted to a side. She did not speak of a violent death from projectiles but was asking him without speaking why he was asking a question he knew the answer to.

"Your mom would be annoyed, yes, but what about my _clan_?" Neji questioned.

Tenten rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. Back to death by projectiles in a hoard of steel then. So be it. He had come back from a mission this afternoon, a two weeklong mission stuck with Genma and Raidou and the two had been touchy-feely the entire time. Then Genma had asked about having a _third_ in their night-time activities while giving Neji a grin and Neji decided to ignore the lovers completely unless it had to do with the mission. God-forbid he wanted some well deserved _alone_ time.

"Can't he go back to his home?" Neji questioned.

He _did not_ care how whiny his voice seemed in the moment. It was the middle of the night, he had nothing on but a pair of loose gray sleeping pants, his hair was a mess, he had nothing on his forehead and Tenten was trying to offload a drunken Lee onto him while he was in a state she had seen him in once or twice. It wasn't fair.

Tenten raised one corner of her mouth. And people said he was the quiet one who spoke to people without needing to say much. Tenten had become the master of it (or he so adept at reading his friends it didn't matter) and he knew the smirk meant "yeah right and let him destroy the place like last time? You know we can't leave him alone like this."

Neji sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Lee slept on, oblivious but Neji knew Lee would not stay like this for long. The idiot would wake up during the night as he normally did and start wanting to battle. Tenten had likely knocked him out before coming here.

"Would it make a difference if I said I came back from a mission with the _lovers_ and they wanted to make me a third?" Neji tried.

Tenten blinked and the smirk became a grin. She covered her giggles with a hand.

"Only if you _do_ become a third and get me a tape of it cuz that would be all kinds of hot," Tenten said.

Deal with a drunken Lee for one night or have sex with Genma and Raidou, tape it without the two knowing, and give a copy to Tenten. The decision was difficult and for a moment Neji strongly considered making Tenten deal with Lee and tracking down the lovers in question. No, they would ask for more than a night and as fun as it might be, Neji didn't want to be in the potential troublesome (damn he played too much shoji with Shikamaru) situation.

"Fine, Lee can stay," Neji said.

"Aww, I was kind of hoping you meant the tape," Tenten told him.

Neji snorted and gave her a look which consisted of raised brows, crossed arms and scowl #45. She gulped and got the "if you don't leave now I'll Gentle Fist you into next year" look he gave her. She was gone before he could fully get the glare in place. Neji relaxed his expression and strode to his window to close it on the cold air leaking into his room. He turned and stared at Lee who still slept on.

Neji sighed and shifted until he could get to the bottom drawer of his nightstand. He released the seals on it, found the key tucked under a hidden floorboard in his room and unlocked the drawer. No one knew about the drawer which was an accomplishment considering the family he lived with.

The top drawer held typical objects: the box of important knickknacks he kept over the years, a photo album from before his father died, a bottle of sleeping pills he barely used, some moisturizer Hanabi would make fun of him for if she knew he used (dry feet be damned), and some nail clippers.

What was not typical (though considering he was seventeen and actively a teen) was a bottle of lube, some condoms, and a few more naughty novels (and comics) disguised as something purely innocent.

The bottom drawer was where Neji kept his secrets: the book he wrote in from time to time (he would never stoop to calling it a _diary_ ), an embarrassing photo Tenten had taken of him hanging mostly naked and upside down after a training session gone horribly wrong, a bottle of liquor, and his more _personal_ items.

Many people thought Neji was not only a virgin but vanilla. He did not have many partners but he was not vanilla. In the bottom drawer were handcuffs of the steel variety (no leopard print for him), thick white chakra binding rope, a range of butt-plugs in various sizes, a foot long clear dildo which could be used as a double penetration device, nipple clamps, a gag, a whip, a silken blindfold, three bullet vibrators, a vibrating and rotating dildo, a book on many easy and complex rope tying techniques (complete with detailed images), and a pack of batteries. Suffice to say he was well stocked.

He grinned at the vibrating dildo, blushing lightly at remembering his last use with it, and removed the handcuffs. He shut and relocked his drawer (god forbid Lee wake up and see what was in there) then handcuffed Lee to the bed by his arms. The handcuffs drained chakra and were made to hold the hardest of strugglers. The headboard would snap away before the handcuffs broke.

Neji left his room and strode down the quiet hallway to a storage closet where he found extra sheets, a few pillows, and a roll out sleeping mat. He dragged all these back to his room and laid them out on the floor beside his bed. Neji made sure the proper seals were in place on his bottom drawer before lying down in his make-shift bed on the floor. Damn Lee.

* * *

"Neji."

It was too damned early to be waking up. Neji did not really know the time but his body told him it wanted to sleep for another few hours and to Hell with the person trying to argue with his body.

"Neji."

Neji forced one eye open to see Lee staring down at him from the bed. Lee was oddly flexible (that gave Neji all kinds of odd thoughts various times through their friendship) and had managed to almost pull his right arm out of joint to stare at Neji from the edge of the bed.

"What?" Neji asked.

"Why am I handcuffed to your bed?" Lee questioned.

Neji sighed. The booze had worn out of Lee's system. Thankfully Lee had not destroyed the Hyuuga compound in a fit of drunken zeal. Perhaps all they had to do was handcuff him to a bed and all would be well. This train of thought coupled with lack of sleep and the innuendos he'd been facing for two weeks got mixed up in his head. This would be the excuse Neji used if someone ever questioned him on his words:

"Because I intend to make you my sex slave."

Lee's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. For a moment Neji wanted to laugh but the words he had said hit him and Neji inwardly groaned. Damn Genma and Raidou for putting _those_ thoughts into his head.

"But I haven't even experienced the climax of youth," Lee said.

Neji looked up at him and blinked. Lee had admitted to being a virgin. Neji was back to wanting to laugh but decided not to. Lee might decide to prove he would reach the climax of youth and it would not go over well for Neji.

"I was joking," Neji said.

Lee grinned and would have given Nice Guy Pose #12 if his hands weren't being restrained. The tooth ping came anyway and Neji's eyebrow twitched as Lee fake-laughed, mostly quietly at least.

"Good one, my eternal rival. Though your delivery needs some work," Lee said.

Neji sighed and could not believe he was being lectured on his ability to deliver a joke. Not just being lectured but being lectured by _Lee_ of all people. Neji rubbed his temples and stared at his teammate.

"Go back to sleep," Neji said.

Lee blinked at him. He blushed. Neji raised an eyebrow and gave Lee scowl #23: shut the Hell up and do as I say or die.

"I have to use the facilities," Lee told him.

They had a bit of a staring contest in which Neji determined if he wanted to go though the effort of cleaning the sheets and possibly the mattress and Lee, well, Lee just waited. He knew better than to bug Neji when the Hyuuga was thinking. Considering he was chained to a bed and couldn't get away, Neji's normal retaliation of Gentle Fisting someone at being interrupted would hurt much more.

"Of course you do," Neji muttered.

Neji got to his feet and stared at the handcuffs. It took him a long moment to realize he had _not_ taken the keys out of his drawer after cuffing Lee to his bed. Neji huffed and glared at Lee who gulped.

"Close your eyes," Neji said.

Lee did as told because when faced with scowl #66 combined with glare #13, _no one_ argued with one Hyuuga Neji. Neji got the key, unsealed the drawer and opened it. The key to the handcuffs were not in his immediate line of sight and Neji had long ago sealed this drawer from being viewed with Byakugan. Neji had to remove his favorite dildo and the butt-plugs before he found his key.

He felt eyes on him and used the same combo to glare at Lee. Lee went bright red, so red he virtually glowed in the dark room, and nervously chuckled. Neji calmly put away his toys and shut the drawer. He stood with the handcuff keys but did not release Lee.

"If you tell _anyone_ what you saw in there I will make it so you will _never_ realize the climax of youth, ever, and permanently," Neji said.

Lee gaped but nodded. Neji unlocked the handcuffs and Lee sprang from bed to Neji's adjoined bathroom. Neji put his handcuffs away and made sure all the proper objects were in place before re-locking and re-sealing his drawer. He took over the bed but Lee did not complain. Neji closed his eyes and let out a long breath. Lee would never tell.

* * *

"Neji has a secret drawer."

Tenten looked at Lee who had the biggest grin on his face and a flush on his cheeks as he revealed this secret. Tenten raised her eyebrow in what she knew was Look #12: Explain. Now or I will beat it out of you.

"Ah, the other night when I partook in a glorious game—"

Tenten shifted to Look #1: Get to the point or I'll use you for target practice.

"Neji handcuffed me to the bed and he opened his bottom drawer and there were, were, um, I don't know what they were but there were a lot of them."

Tenten blinked. Neji had a secret drawer. Neji stored a lot of _things_ in his secret drawer. Tenten grinned. She would have never though _Neji_ to be the type of person to have a secret drawer full of private _things._

She wasn't diluted into thinking Neji wasn't a virgin, god knew he'd been used for his looks on missions before, but she hadn't thought he was into anything _fetish_. Now she wanted to know his kink.

"What kind of things?" Tenten asked, feigning innocence.

Lee went even redder and started waving his hands around. Tenten ignored the gestures as Lee rattled off a bunch of nonsense about the climax of youth, handcuffs, and Neji making a (ill-delivered) joke about making Lee his sex slave. Finally Lee got to the point.

"Ah, well, the handcuffs, and um these odd objects that were small but round," Lee said.

He scribbled a picture in his notebook. Tenten knew he would tear the page about by the color of his face and gazed at the page in wonder. By Lee's drawing Neji had bullet vibrators.

"And ah, two, er, these things,"

Lee drew a crude drawing of a penis except one was double sided and huge. Neji had _dildos_ , one meant for double penetration by the looks of things. The other had a little square and a wire coming off it so it would be a vibrator. Tenten nodded. Another images was classic nipple clamps.

"And, these,"

Lee drew a crude example of a butt-plug but there were five varying in size from easy to holy-shit. Lee's face was so red Tenten could almost feel the heat coming off it from a few feet away.

"There was rope and a book called "Tying Fantasies." And a whip. A blindfold. And a gag. Oh, and batteries. Plus a plain covered book and that picture you took of him during the Bad Training Session."

Tenten gaped. Lee was going on about how he had no idea what any of it was or why Neji of all people would need a blindfold as the Byakugan could see right through it. Tenten hardly listened.

Neji, the teammate who wore all white and never got his whites dirty was a bondage lover. Damn. She might need to get Lee drunk again so the Green Beast of Konoha could sneak another peek into Neji's drawer.

"Tenten?" Lee asked.

"Huh?" Tenten returned.

"Is Neji in some kind of trouble?"

Tenten _just_ managed to keep from laughing at Lee's worried look. Yeah, if Neji didn't find someone who liked being bound, wait, maybe _Neji_ liked being captured. That was all sorts of _hot._ Tenten pushed aside the image of a naked Neji tied to that big bed in his room with a gag in his mouth and a vibrating dildo up his ass, taunt muscles damp with sweet, breath coming out in light moaning pants, white eyes closed in pleasure...

"Tenten?"

"No, no, he's not in any kind of trouble," Tenten said.

Damn it she was going to need to steer clear from Kiba for the day or the dog-ninja would smell her arousal at the thought of a hot, naked, bound Neji. At least Kiba wouldn't blame her. A change of panties might even be in order once she left Lee to go have dinner with her mom. Who knew Neji liked that sort of thing though? She had to find out more. Besides, _he_ had glanced into her secret hiding place and she never did believe him about it being unintentional. The so-called vanilla Hyuuga had read some secrets of hers and she was _owed_ seeing what was in the drawer for herself. Right? She grinned as Lee gave her a confused look.

"Actually, maybe he is," Tenten said.

Lee gasped. Tenten giggled and Lee blinked in confusion when she spoke:

"I really need to see that drawer."

* * *

Neji hummed (to himself of course, god-forbid anyone actually _hear_ him) as he strode along the streets of Konoha. It was two days after Lee's impromptu sleep-over and he felt relaxed after a full night's sleep. He had trained with Hinata, ate a quiet lunch in the garden with his Uncle, Hinata, and Hanabi and now was off to play shoji with Shikamaru.

Shikamaru did not know about Neji's plan for shoji but the cloud watcher would not mind. Neji had a basket in his hands with a soft blanket atop it. Inside was a bottle of the sweet melon juice Shikamaru loved, some sweet cakes he indulged in, a shoji board, and some cups and plates to enjoy their treat.

Shikamaru didn't need the prodding but sometimes the lazy-nin could be especially unmotivated and had sometimes denied Neji shoji for hours while Neji sat glaring at him. It always amused Choji and Kiba who were beginning to hang around Shikamaru's cloud-gazing spots but Neji did not mind. Once the game started the two others would watch and make interesting comments at least.

"Hey Neji!"

Neji did not bother to turn as he recognized both the voice and the chakra signature of Tenten. He did not even bother waiting for her to catch up but she did within a few moments anyway and beamed at him. Neji gave her Look #14: You damned well OWE me. She grinned. He glared.

"You owe me for babysitting Lee the other night," Neji told her.

She rolled her eyes and gave him Look #5: Fine, you win. Neji nodded at her and they continued the walk towards Shikamaru's favorite cloud gazing spot for this time of year and day.

"Challenging Shikamaru to shoji again?" Tenten asked.

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a little frown as if to ask how she could be so oblivious. She stuck her tongue out at him and he snorted.

"Anyway, Ino had a great idea yesterday," Tenten said.

Any idea Yamanaka Ino had was _not_ a good idea for him. The last time he had been involved in one of her plans he had almost ended up with purple hair. Purple just did not suit his skin tone no matter how much Ino said it would bring out the lilac color in his eyes. There was also a matter of Hyuuga pride in his hair and besides, he _liked_ the natural deep chocolate tones. Superior genetics had given his hair a natural glorious sheen and texture he was loathed to destroy because of a dare gone wrong. Plus his awesome genes meant he didn't have to do much but wash and brush his hair to look so envy-worthy. Tenten started talking.

"She said since the Hyuuga elders are going away for the week we should have a party at your place."

Neji stopped and used The Combo. Tenten didn't flinch. Neji huffed. He would need to find a new combo that worked on Tenten, Shikamaru, and Naruto. Damn them and their glare resistant ways.

"No," Neji said.

He continued to walk on but apparently Tenten wasn't done with him.

"Oh, that wasn't a question of permission," Tenten told him.

He started at her in wonder though for people who didn't know him he still looked blank.

"What?"

Tenten smiled. It was the sunny grin she reserved for right before she made a person look like a porcupine.

"Hinata all ready said yes."

Neji was going to kill his cousin...right after shoji with Shikamaru. He did have some time to stop the supposed party. No one would be leaving the compound until next week. Besides, Neji had enough of Shikamaru's favorite things in the basket, the genius was sure to help him.

* * *

"No."

Neji looked up from the shoji board and stared at Shikamaru. The other ninja hadn't even needed prodding with the melon juice or cakes and gone right for the idea of shoji. At least now Neji had a back-up plan.

"Why not?" Neji questioned.

Kiba, Akamaru, and Choji watched as Shikamaru moved a pawn. The smell of cigarette smoke was not as strong as Neji remembered mainly because the wind blew it away from him. Shikamaru sighed and met his eyes.

"Let's see, face a pissy Hyuuga and enjoy a party which might involve half naked girls or have Ino yelling at me for the next century," Shikamaru said. "Tactically I'm going with a pissy you. It's just less troublesome."

Neji huffed. He moved a piece and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Shikamaru. The other genius simply blew smoke in his general direction.

"No melon juice and sweet cakes for you then," Neji said.

Shikamaru's dark eyes flitted to the basket but he _shrugged_. He moved another piece and blew more smoke. Kiba coughed at the smoke and Akamaru growled at Shikamaru but they all knew it was banter. Choji ate another chip.

"No amount of melon juice or sweet cakes will make me take on a pissy Ino," Shikamaru said.

Neji cursed Ino and moved another piece. Choji was looking at him and Neji nodded. Choji grinned before digging into the basket with fever.

"Well, if you all ready know about Ino's idea, who is coming?" Neji questioned.

Shikamaru countered his move and Neji frowned. He would lose in a matter of minutes. Shikamaru likely knew it.

"Kiba, Choji, me, Ino, obviously you and Hinata are going to be there, Sakura, Tenten, Lee, Sai, Shino, and Naruto," Shikamaru said.

Neji let out a little breath. When Tenten had said party he had assumed the worst. It was a gathering of friends then which meant it might not turn out to be so horrible.

"Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro will probably be there considering the Hyuuga exodus of sorts falls around the time the three will be visiting but no one else," Shikamaru said.

Neji hummed but nodded. The Sand Siblings had become close friends despite the distance. Shikamaru won in the next move and Neji frowned. The day hadn't been too horrible and Hell, in a week he would get to have a party with his friends in a compound that would be virtually empty. So long as Lee stayed away from any booze involved nothing would go wrong.

* * *

"Okay, so what's the plan on getting into that drawer?"

Ino looked positively evil and Tenten grinned. Sakura cackled and Tenten looked at Temari who smirked. The party was tomorrow. The only guy who had surmised why Ino planned a party at Hinata and Neji's place was Shikamaru but he fell to Ino's blackmail threat if he told anyone. Tenten had told her girlfriends, minus Hinata because despite Hinata gaining some self confidence over the years she still couldn't stand up to Neji if he asked her any of the plans going on behind his back.

"Well, this is Neji," Tenten said. "He'll have seals on it and likely have it locked through traditional means."

"We can all pick locks though," Temari said.

Sakura and Ino nodded. Tenten huffed and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at Temari. Temari smirked.

"I'm not worried about the lock. It's the _seals_. Neji won't do anything so obvious on the drawer so he won't have used a physical seal that any _normal_ eye can see," Tenten said.

Temari, Sakura, and Ino frowned. Ino shook her head, sending the long blond hair flying around. Some of it hit Temari and the other blond raised an eyebrow.

"We can't ask Hinata to help. She won't," Ino said.

Tenten hadn't even bothered asking Hinata. Neji being so nice to her over the past few years and feeling bad about almost killing her had made Hinata unwilling to intentionally prank him. Damn them both.

"And obvious Neji won't help," Sakura mentioned.

Tenten grinned.

"Not willingly, _but_ , Ino, you'd be able to use Byakugan if you got into Neji with your Mind Body Switch Technique, right?"

Ino smiled wickedly and nodded. Temari and Sakura cackled.

"Once we can see what kind of seals are on that thing, we can determine how to break them. All we have to do is get Neji and Ino in the room alone with us hiding in his bathroom or something and spring the attack. If _that_ doesn't work, we can play truth or dare and dare him to open the drawer," Tenten said.

Temari snorted and shook her head. Tenten would never get over how different she looked with her hair down. Sleepovers (even if they were for planning revenge) dictated a more relaxed look though.

"If he doesn't want to open the drawer won't he just take the punishment?" Temari questioned.

Ino shook her head again and Temari held up a hand to prevent the barrage of hair.

"Not if we make it dying your hair bright pink or something. That guy is more possessive of his hair than I am and that's saying something," Ino said.

Tenten nodded in agreement. Neji had always been finicky about his long locks (with damn good reason) and any dare given that involved doing _anything_ to his precious hair he would take the punishment even if it meant wearing one of Lee and Gai's jumpsuits for a week.

"Okay, so we try the Plan Seduction first then Plan Dare," Temari said.

"Plan Seduction?" Ino asked with a confused look.

Temari snorted. Tenten wanted to laugh at Ino's lost look as Sakura obviously got it.

"Of course," Temari said. "How _else_ do you plan to get a boy alone in his room unless you're trying to seduce him?"

Ino's eyes lit and she said she had _just_ the thing to get Neji to go hide in his room with her. For a moment, Tenten felt bad for Neji. The thought of seeing for herself what Neji had locked away in his drawer made her smirk. And that blank covered book _had_ to be a journal.

Oh no. This was payback for _him_ peeking a look in her secret hiding place. He was going down.

* * *

Neji chuckled as Kiba and Naruto had some kind of shouting match about something or another. The party, such as it was, was being held in the branch section of the Hyuuga mansion and Neji had quickly realized with all the elders gone, the branch members had decided to take over the main family area. It left the branch section of the house completely empty except for him and his friends.

"Now what are they going on about?" Shikamaru asked at his side.

"Who knows?" Neji returned.

Lee joined the fray and Neji watched. The girls, all but Hinata, had disappeared but his cousin was trying to get her teammate and crush to stop fighting. It was futile at best but at least it was amusing. Kankuro and Gaara looked on in humor while Shino had sat beside him and Shikamaru on a couch in the main sitting area. Choji was close by in a second couch, eating his chips and Sai watched everything with his annoying fake smile.

The music was at a volume everyone could appreciate though Neji could do without the popular tunes. There was spiked punch, plenty of food, and games spread out all over the floor. The large screen TV would be used later for the stack of movies Kiba had brought (thankfully none of them naughty) and they would act like regular teenagers for once.

It did not bother him the girls had left to go do whatever girls did in social gatherings. The company was fine and soon the two Sand brothers came over to settle on the other couch. They had all dragged in the total of ten couches in the branch section to make the space comfortable for everyone. The new arrangement of furniture was a bit haphazard but the room was massive enough to take the treatment.

"Where'd all the girls go?" Kankuro asked.

"No idea," Choji said.

"We can pretend Neji-kun is a girl," Sai butted in. "His hair is long enough."

Neji gave Sai his patented glare combo but Sai offered a fake grin in response. Shikamaru had tensed as much as the lazy bastard could and Choji had stopped eating. Even Kankuro looked stunned and he wasn't from the Leaf. Neji let out a breath and toned down his glare as it didn't seem to be working anyway. No use wasting a good glare.

"All Hyuuga men wear their hair long as a status symbol," Shino said. "Those who do not are considered weak with the improper genes to carry on a powerful line. It is a matter of pride."

Neji raised an eyebrow at Shino and wanted to ask where the bug-nin had learned that particular piece of information. Neji had certainly never told anyone besides Shikamaru why he kept his hair so long. Obviously the others had been curious but no one wanted to ask him. Shino had likely asked Hinata. Either that or Shino had asked Shibi. Sai blinked then offered a wider fake grin.

"It makes him look girly though," Sai said.

Neji huffed and was about to counter but stopped when someone tapped his shoulder. He turned and came face to face with Ino's breasts. Neji raised an eyebrow as Ino smiled at him. Her face was closer to his than her breasts but the shirt she wore and the way she had bent with said shirt had given him an _excellent_ view of her chest.

"Neji," Ino said.

Her voice was too sweet. Neji sipped his spiked melon juice and waited. This would be interesting.

"Tenten told me about this rare medical text you have in your room and I was wondering if I could take a look," Ino said.

Neji blinked. Neji did in fact have a rare medical text in his room along with many other books medical-nin might be interested in. He heard Kankuro mutter something about growing his own hair long and inwardly smirked. Neji nodded and got to his feet.

"This way," Neji said.

He left his cup on the table and ignored the wolf howls from Kankuro. Choji laughed but Shikamaru looked...concerned. Suspicious. Neji kept his emotions in check as Ino laced an arm though one of his and leaned into his side. She giggled and batted her eyelashes at him. Too bad he wasn't interested in most girls, she was kind of cute.

They made it to his room without incident and Neji slid open the door for her, offering her to enter first. She thanked him with a sweet giggle and a peck on the cheek. Neji followed in shortly after, guard up when he noticed his closet was open a quarter of an inch. Ah, so this is where the girls had gone. Odd they wanted to trap him though.

"It's right over here," Neji said.

Ino followed him but a half a step slower. Neji flicked his eyes downwards and caught the glint of light along a wire Tenten used to set traps. He paused an inch away from the line which kept him a bit too far from his book shelf. It was easy to give Ino a little smile and gesture towards the book in question.

Ino showed no concern and turned towards the shelf. The line lowered and she stepped over it easily. Neji almost laughed when she pulled the book out of the shelf along with a few others by "accident" and pretended to drop all of them. When he didn't move to help her pick them up she raised an eyebrow out him.

"Tenten, I'm not stupid. I saw the wire," Neji said casually.

Something clattered in his closet and Neji turned towards it with a smirk. He yelped when something knocked into the back of his head and he fell to the floor. Ino stood above him with one of the heavier books she had dropped. It was the last thing he saw before he felt a pain in his neck from one of Tenten's senbon needles. Son of a bitch.

* * *

Neji woke up and promptly glared at the four kunoichi in his room. Tenten, Temari, Sakura, and Ino grinned down at him in victory and Neji had a sudden bout of realization. Lee had promised he would not tell anyone but apparently the promise _did not_ extend to their female teammate because Tenten _wasn't_ just anyone. She was their best friend and thus given privy to all their secrets.

Tenten still harboured a grudge about him seeing what was in her secret hiding spot even though it had been an unintentional (totally intentional but he would never verbally admit it) accident. No wonder Shikamaru had looked concerned. He had known Ino had an ulterior motive in throwing this party at Neji's house. Shikamaru also knew what kind of _things_ Neji kept in his drawer being one of the few people privy to seeing those things in use while in bed with Neji.

"Damn Lee," Neji muttered.

"Oh so you know what we're after?" Temari questioned with a smirk.

Neji glared at her but she too was immune. Damn it. Then again Gaara tended to have worse glares than him back when Gaara still had the One-Tail living inside him.

"I assume Ino plans to use the Mind Body Switch Technique to determine what kind of seals are on the drawer, hm?" Neji questioned.

Ino grinned and performed a too familiar hand sign. Neji had nowhere to go but did remember _how_ Sakura had beaten Ino in the first Chunin exams. Ino's body fell and Neji _felt_ her mind pressing into his own. She had gained strength in the years since the exam and Neji had to grit his teeth to hang on.

After a moment he entered a void space and stood in front of Ino. Ino scowled at him and stomped a foot in frustration.

"No way!" Ino shouted.

"Do you people always forget why I'm a prodigy?" Neji asked.

Ino gaped as he grew much taller than her then raised a hand to squash her. She screamed in his head as he batted her out of his skull. Neji came back to the outside world to see Ino groaning and sitting up while the women gaped in wonder.

"He fended it off?" Sakura asked.

Ino huffed and stared at her friend with a pout. Temari snorted and began walking towards the en suite bathroom.

"It's _your_ fault Billboard Brow," Ino muttered.

Sakura snarled but the two stopped when Tenten's eyes went wide and she started shaking her head. Neji gulped. Temari had found a pair of scissors and had a not-nice grin on her face. Neji tried to struggle against his bonds but damn had Tenten ever gone all out.

That senbon needle had made his chakra lazy and unresponsive to his basic commands. She'd also tied him up in the thin wires she used for traps which meant struggling too hard would give him a bunch of tiny cuts all over his body. She had been nice and kept his hair out of the net. Not that it mattered to Temari it seemed.

"All right, we improvise," Temari said.

"Wait, do we—" Tenten tried.

Temari gave her a look as Ino and Sakura seemed to catch onto Temari's plan. They gaped.

"You want in that drawer or not?" Temari asked.

Tenten bit her lip. Neji narrowed his eyes but said nothing. Surely Tenten would abort the mission now. No. This was Tenten and she _had_ him in a vulnerable position. She knew she would never get another chance at this and she would get her vengeance for him seeing her rather interesting supplies.

Tenten nodded and Temari returned the gesture. She grinned at Neji. Neji wondered if she would teach him how to smile so evilly.

"All right, Hyuuga, here's the deal," Temari said.

Neji flinched when she squatted beside him with the scissors open in her right hand. She grabbed the bulk of his hair in her left hand and kept grinning. Her eyebrows did rise momentarily and Neji huffed. She blinked in awe and the effect of her menacing look was completely obliterated.

"Wow, you do have great hair," Temari said.

Neji smirked at the comment. Tenten smacked her forehead. Sakura and Ino deadpanned. Temari shook her head and her look went back to pure evil.

"Either you open that drawer or you're getting a hair-cut courtesy of me," Temari said.

Neji took a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly. He did not drop his eyes from her gaze and controlled his heart that wanted to pound in his chest. He could do nothing about the sweat gathering at his lower back under the light tee shirt he wore over his black trousers. Hair grew back, Hyuuga pride or not.

"I was thinking something, short and spiky, kind of like Kiba's," Temari said.

Oh Hell no. Dog-boy had awful hair.

"And maybe bright pink."

Neji gulped.

"With purple streaks."

Neji jolted when she cut the bandana over his forehead. She cut away the hair tie keeping his hair in place and snipped the scissors in front of his face a few times for dramatic effect. It would take him _years_ to grow his hair back to this length but it might never be the same after being bleached to lighten it so Temari could dye it pink.

Then again if they saw what was in his drawer he would _never_ let it down. His book (never a diary _damn it_ ) was in there, never mind his personal toys. Temari kept grinning as she brandished the scissors again. They would tell _everyone_...

Wait. That might not be a horrible concept. It meant people knew what they were getting into if they wanted to sleep with him. Hell, he might get some people to back off. He smirked. Temari raised her chin.

"I'll open the drawer," Neji said.

"Good boy," Temari said.

Tenten came forward to undo his bindings while biting her lip. They met eyes and Neji caught the question in her look: You know why I'm doing this, right? He nodded and she let out a breath before pulling Look #7: You're not too mad, are you? Neji raised his eyebrow and tilted his head the slight amount that said: What do _you_ think? She flushed.

The wires fell away and Neji huffed before getting to his feet. Sakura took his arm in one hand and he felt her oddly powerful grip. He couldn't break it without chakra and knowing Tenten he wouldn't get _that_ back for at least another half hour.

Neji almost started laughing but kept it back. He sat on the bed beside his nightstand and Sakura sat next to him. Ino went to the door and Tenten stood ready with more wires in case he planned some grand escape. Temari kept the scissors in her hand and gave him a look that told him to hurry up. Neji allowed a smirk through.

"Unfortunately for you, you ladies have a problem," Neji said.

"What's that?" Temari asked.

Neji grinned.

"Do you honestly think I would seal my drawer _without_ the use of chakra?" Neji questioned.

Silence. Tenten smacked her forehead again. Temari groaned. Sakura rubbed her temples and Ino sagged against his wall.

"Damn it," Temari said. "So we have to let him regain his chakra so he can open the drawer?"

Tenten sighed but nodded. Ino huffed and crossed her arms over her chest and Neji could not help but feel victorious. Once he had his chakra back this would be an entirely different game. He could easily incapacitate Sakura at this range with one blow. Temari didn't have her fan and Tenten simply did not have the room to keep away from him. So long as he kept moving, Ino was useless.

"So, we're at a stalemate," Temari muttered.

Neji hummed and kept the smile on his face. Temari tapped the closed scissors against her lips thoughtfully. She looked to Tenten who frowned. Temari shook her head and huffed.

"Obviously once you've got your chakra back we'll lose Sakura before any of us can move," Temari said.

Sakura scowled but didn't argue. They all knew the damage Neji's close range attacks could do and they knew he was much faster than Sakura despite her being a great ninja.

"Then you'll have no problem taking me out since I rely on the fan I don't have," Temari said.

Neji inclined his head in the positive. She was a Troublesome Woman as Shikamaru had coined her but she knew when she was beat.

"Tenten will give you a problem but so long as you keep moving, Ino's special skills become redundant and you're not going to be stupid enough to knock Sakura down for a minute or two. Doesn't matter. We've got half an hour to figure this out," Temari said.

Neji blinked. It wouldn't matter _how_ much time they had. There was no stopping him once he had his chakra back. Neji smirked and saw Tenten gulp. She knew the plan was over. It was going to be a long but worthwhile wait.

* * *

Tenten looked to her three cohorts. Neji would be striking out any minute now but they had not said a word. How could they plan when the person they planned against was in the room with them? Even if Ino, Temari, and her left the room they had to somehow inform Sakura about whatever plan but she couldn't let go of Neji or he'd take off. This was failing miserably. They should have gone with truth or dare.

The veins around Neji's eyes came out but fluttered away after a moment. He frowned but it wouldn't be long now, a minute, _maybe_ , and he'd have his chakra back. There was a reason he'd made jonin at 15. Taking on the four of them when Temari was weaponless, Sakura was within range, Ino couldn't use her bloodline limit, and Tenten was at a distinct advantage would be a piece of cake.

The veins came back but before they could see if they stuck, Sakura punched Neji in the temple. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell backwards on the bed. Temari let out a breath.

"Now what?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know," Temari answered.

Tenten gulped when they all looked to her. Neji needed his chakra to open the drawer but him having his chakra meant he could escape. That had been the whole point of Ino trying to take over his body but he'd beaten her. They were screwed.

They all jolted when the door to Neji's room opened. Shikamaru stepped calmly into the room first with a blank look on his face followed by an unreadable Shino. Lee, red in the face, came in next followed by a grinning Kankuro and Kiba. Choji came with a bag of chips. Sai had the stupid fake grin on his face and Gaara looked curious. Naruto had a confused stare and Tenten almost felt pity for him.

"So, Lee tells us Neji has some _interesting_ things in that bottom drawer of his. Need some help?" Kankuro asked.

Tenten almost started laughing but realized one _important_ member of their friendship circle was missing.

"Where's Hinata?" Sakura questioned.

Hinata stepped into the room last, blushing and pushing her index fingers together. She opened her mouth but stopped when Neji groaned and sat up. Tenten coughed to hide a laugh when he realized the amount of people in his room had multiplied since he'd last been awake. The distinct look (to her and Lee only, maybe Shikamaru since a slight grin came to his face) of "FUCK" came over his face.

"Hinata's the one who suggested she close all the chakra points in Neji's body except the ones in his hands so he can open the drawer," Kiba said.

Neji raised and eyebrow at this but Hinata nodded. Tenten remembered then Neji had helped Hanabi locate and read Hinata's diary. Oh the poor guy never stood a chance. They should have asked Hinata for help. That had been stupid on their part.

Sand filtered between her feet so quick Tenten hardly realized. It encased Neji and his eyes widened. His jaw didn't drop but he did quirk his eyebrow in question. He scowled when the sand made him stand and focused on his wrist and ankles only to keep him in place.

"Go ahead," Gaara said.

Hell they should have asked the guys for help. Hinata's Byakugan activated and she stepped forward gracefully. Neji took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He knew what was coming.

"Would it help any if I told you people what was in there?" Shikamaru asked with a bored expression on his face.

Neji's glare was back in full force but even Tenten knew it didn't affect Shikamaru. Wait. Shikamaru _knew_ what was in Neji's drawer.

"How the Hell do...oh, wow, damn. You lucky bastard," Kiba said.

This was followed by a pat on the back. Kankuro congratulated Shikamaru. Naruto still looked painfully confused. Sai smiled, likely for real at least a little bit this time. Lee gaped. Choji smirked. Shino, well, she couldn't tell. Hinata looked embarrassed though.

"I'm not interested in the sex toys," Tenten said.

Everyone looked to her with wide eyes except for Shikamaru.

"I want the damned _book_. The one with the blank cover," Tenten said.

Neji paled. He gulped when Hinata nodded and got the smallest but _evillest_ smile on her face Tenten had ever seen on the other girl.

"Wait, Neji's _diary_ is in there?" Temari asked.

She looked ready to burst out laughing.

"A book with a blank cover according to Lee," Tenten said.

Temari, Kiba, and Naruto (he understood this at least) laughed. Lee flushed. Sai looked confused, Choji and Shikamaru remained blank, Gaara blinked, Sakura and Ino smirked, and Shino, yeah. He was Shino.

"Neji _keeps_ a diary?" Kankuro questioned in amusement.

Neji flushed but no one was paying attention to him. Temari snorted.

" _You_ have a diary and it's boring," Temari said.

Kankuro looked scandalized but Gaara, he _nodded_. Tenten couldn't help but laugh.

"Neji's diary would be far more interesting, I think," Temari said with a smile.

"Someone just kill me now," Neji muttered.

"That could be arranged," Gaara told him.

Silence. Gaara blinked and Tenten wished she could stop mimicking a fish out of water. At least everyone else was (well, besides Shino but no one could see what he looked like under the damned coat).

"Joke," Gaara said innocently.

Everyone either groaned, whacked their foreheads, sighed, or made some other motion of disbelief, even Shino.

"You have _got_ to work on your delivery," Kankuro mumbled.

"Noted," Gaara said.

Someone snorted but Tenten didn't care who. At this point all she wanted to do was get the damn drawer open. Hinata moved forward and Neji winced when she began hitting his chakra points and sealing them off. With no ability to defend, Neji was a sitting target. She nodded to Gaara when she was done and Gaara called back his sand.

Neji wobbled a bit where he stood but regained his balance. He huffed, his lower lip coming out slightly but no one would notice. Neji settled on his knees in front of his drawer and touched the handle. For a moment, Tenten thought he did nothing but a gasp from Hinata told her she was wrong.

Neji unlocked the drawer with a key he kept under the floorboard she _did_ know about and stood back. He crossed his arms over his chest, gave them Glare #666 (which caused _Gaara_ to flinch) and walked away from his dresser to kill his books with a look.

No one moved for several moments but Tenten was the first to regain her emotions. She couldn't help but chuckle as she bent, reached out a hand, and tugged open the drawer. She was pretty sure everyone in Konoha heard her scream but no one in the room would chide her. Neji actually ran out the window when she finished speaking, probably because of the senbons in her hands and the fact he had little to no defense right now:

"HOW THE HELL IS IT EMPTY?!"

* * *

"So you emptied it?"

Neji watched as Shikamaru smirked and blew a stream of smoke towards the ceiling. They were in Shikamaru's room, lounging in bed after an oddly gentle (but still exceptionally satisfying) bout of sex. Neji lifted his head off the comfortable position on Shikamaru's chest and smiled. Shikamaru may not be affected by his glares but a small genuine smile made the shadow-nin putty in Neji's hands.

"Yeah, the day before the party," Shikamaru said.

Neji blinked. Shikamaru was more brilliant than anyone gave him credit for. Neji kissed Shikamaru's chest and ran a hand over his abs while Shikamaru grinned.

"How did you get past my chakra seals?" Neji questioned.

Sure, Shikamaru was brilliant but those seals had been hidden to everyone but Byakugan users. Never mind the seals. Shikamaru had snuck _into_ the Hyuuga compound, opened a hidden drawer, and emptied it in broad daylight. Damn. The genius snorted.

"I know you too well," Shikamaru said.

Neji hummed. He decided it did not matter and placed his head back on Shikamaru's shoulder. Instantly Shikamaru's hand went into Neji's hair, running from the scalp down to the tips, fiddling with the tips for a moment before going back to the scalp to caress him. Neji sighed happily and closed his eyes.

"Where is it all?" Neji asked.

He wasn't worried about the toys though it would be a pain to replace them all discreetly. He did have concern over his book ( _so not_ a diary) and he wanted the humiliating picture. Shikamaru chuckled.

"I hid it in _that_ spot."

Ah, _that_ spot. The place in the Nara forest Shikamaru had shown him once. The one place not even Ino or Choji knew the exact location of and the only place that would never be monitored by the cameras installed in the property.

In _that_ place was a single oak tree he and Shikamaru had claimed as theirs and built a small nook of sorts. They had hidden a few things in the tree and now all of Neji's belongings were there. The items were better hidden there than in any secret drawer.

"Thank you," Neji said.

He meant it. Shikamaru grinned.

"You're welcome. You owe me," Shikamaru said.

Neji smiled. Shikamaru had that right.

"What do you want?"

Neji lifted his head when Shikamaru didn't answer right away. Their eyes met and Neji blinked.

"You," Shikamaru said softly.

Neji grinned. Such a sappy line. And people said Shikamaru wasn't a romantic. Neji kissed the shadow-nin on the lips and decided a relationship with the man wouldn't be a horrible thing. Hell, he had been seriously considering it for months.

"As what, lovers?" Neji asked to be sure.

Shikamaru flushed but nodded. Neji wanted to dance around the streets of Konoha and shout to all of Suna he had finally gotten something to go his way in life. He'd never be that dramatic though. Dramatics were Gai and Lee's department.

"Done," Neji said.

He chuckled when Shikamaru smiled his lazy smile and kissed him. Neji could not help but wonder if the entire issue had been a ploy on Shikamaru's part. Getting Lee drunk, knowing Tenten would drop him off, making sure Lee would wake up and see Neji's drawer during the night.

Nah.

Shikamaru wasn't that good. Was he? Neji didn't think it mattered as Shikamaru's hand traveled to that sensitive spot at the back of his neck where downy hair grew and began to rub. Who cared? And really, why was he going to complain?

Neji grinned into Shikamaru's kiss and sunk deeper into the embrace. Besides, Shikamaru would never tell him. Some secrets were best kept in locked drawers.

* * *

Reviews welcome ;)


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